Caricatures

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.  ~Theodore Roosevelt


A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.  ~John Ciardi


Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities:  the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.  ~Abbott Lawrence Lowell

If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing… you have a college degree.


If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.  ~Robert Goheen, Time, 23 June 1961


It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge.  ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

 

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. ~W.H. Auden


The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.  ~Russell Green


A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D.  Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.  ~»Fats» Domino

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or they didn’t.  ~L.L. Hendren


College is the best time of your life.  When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?  ~David Wood


A liberal education… frees a man from the prison-house of his class, race, time, place, background, family and even his nation.  ~Robert Maynard Hutchins

Does college pay?  They do if you are a good open-field runner.  ~Will Rogers


A college education shows a man how little other people know.  ~Thomas Chandler Haliburton


The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. ~J. Frank Dobie

College is a great experience and exposes you to a lot of things you might not otherwise learn or experience. You learn to evaluate things, think for yourself, and become a more independent person. Even if you decide not to use your specific degree, college can never be a waste of money if you get something important out of it. Your degree is like money in the bank; it opens up a lot of opportunities for you. ~Steven D. Woodhull


The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one’s mind a pleasant place in which to spend one’s leisure. ~Sydney J. Harris


I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms — Truman’s and Eisenhower’s. ~Alex Karras

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.  ~Elbert Hubbard


College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.  ~George Gobel


A liberal-arts education is supposed to provide you with a value system, a standard, a set of ideas, not a job.  ~Caroline Bird

I learned three important things in college — to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes.  ~Agnes DeMille


The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary. ~Martin H. Fischer


I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that?

Hitler destroyed the German university with design; we destroyed ours without. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)


No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he knows.  ~J. Robert Oppenheimer


The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong. ~Nevin Fenneman

I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments.  Of course they graduate the best — it’s all they’ll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country.  They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money — provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don’t need it.  ~Peter DeVries


Standardization is the fertilizer of college education. A little may be useful, but flowers do not grow in pure manure. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)


The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money.  ~Author Unknown

The elective system offered a bewildering freedom of choice, leaving some graduates with the impression that they had nibbled at dozens of canapés of knowledge and never had their fill.  ~Ted Morgan


Even an ass can die with a degree. All it takes is four years and four thousand dollars. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)


The quality of a university is measured more by the kind of student it turns out than the kind it takes in. ~Robert J. Kibbee

A place where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.  ~Robert G. Ingersoll


A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.  ~Leonard L. Levinson


“There are some things you can’t learn at any university, except for one, the University of Life… the only college where everyone is a permanent student.”

Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom … leaving home for the first time…the parties…”
«What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?”
“Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied.


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.


How do you stop students use their brains?
You tell them to take notes.

An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don’t. – Anatole France


Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. – William Butler Yeats


Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. – Robert Frost